The Missing Piece in Your Health Puzzle

Jun 1

When "Doing Everything Right" Still Feels Wrong

Sarah came to my office last month, frustrated and exhausted. "Dr. Sadiq, I'm doing everything by the book," she sighed. "I'm eating clean, exercising five days a week, taking my supplements, and tracking my sleep. So why do I still feel terrible?"

As we talked, a different picture emerged. Between shuttling her young kids to soccer and dance practices, traveling for work several days each month, and maintaining her health routines, Sarah's calendar was packed to the minute. She and her husband were managing logistics well as a team, but they hadn't had a real conversation in weeks beyond coordinating schedules. The constant motion left no space for meaningful connection – not with her spouse, friends, or even herself.

Sarah's story might sound familiar. Many of us find ourselves prioritizing diet, exercise, and daily responsibilities while overlooking something equally vital to our wellbeing: our relationships.

The Health Connection We Often Overlook

At Well Endocrinology, we see this pattern frequently. Patients come to us having followed every health recommendation to the letter, yet still struggling with fatigue, weight issues, or mood problems. Often, when we dig deeper, we discover a common thread – feeling disconnected from others.

This isn't just about feeling lonely. What happens in our relationships literally changes our body chemistry. And the science backs this up.

Your Body on Connection (and Disconnection)

Have you ever noticed how drained you feel after an argument? Or how a heartfelt conversation can somehow energize you even when you're tired? That's your body's chemistry responding to connection.

When we experience chronic stress from difficult relationships or isolation, our bodies produce more cortisol (the stress hormone). This can:

Disrupt blood sugar regulation
Suppress immune function
Increase inflammation
Promote visceral fat storage

Research has shown that persistent loneliness and social isolation can significantly increase mortality risk — on par with other well-established risk factors like smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity. This isn't just about feeling better emotionally; it's about your long-term physical health.

Conversely, positive relationships act as a buffer against stress. When you share moments with people you trust, your body releases oxytocin, which lowers cortisol, promotes relaxation, and even improves sleep quality.

Different Connections for Different People

Many of us have felt the message that we should be more social, have more friends, or be more outgoing. But connection doesn't look the same for everyone.

If you're an introvert, you might prefer:

Deep conversations with one or two close friends
Meaningful text exchanges that let you process your thoughts
Sharing activities in comfortable silence
Smaller, quieter gatherings over large social events

These preferences aren't flaws to overcome – they're your authentic way of connecting. The goal isn't to become more extroverted; it's to find connections that energize rather than drain you.

Every Connection Matters

When we talk about "relationships," we often think only of romantic partners or close family. But connection comes in many forms:

The colleague who checks in on your projects
The neighbor who collects your mail when you're away
The barista who remembers your usual order

These small moments of human acknowledgment matter. They remind us we're seen and valued, even briefly.

Why This Might Feel Hard

If reading this makes you feel a twinge of discomfort, you're not alone. Many of my patients struggle with connection for understandable reasons:

Packed schedules that leave little room for socializing
Past hurts that make opening up feel risky
Uncertainty about how to deepen casual relationships
Feeling like everyone else has their social circles figured out

I've been there too. As a physician with a busy practice, I've had periods where my connections suffered. I remember one month realizing I hadn't had a real conversation with anyone outside of work in weeks. My mood and energy were suffering, despite my "perfect" health routines.

Your Path to Better Connection

Just like there's no one-size-fits-all diet plan, there's no universal prescription for connection. But here are some starting points that have helped my patients:

Start with one relationship: Rather than trying to overhaul your entire social life, focus on deepening one existing connection.
Schedule it like medicine: Put connection time on your calendar, even if it's just a 15-minute phone call or coffee break.
Practice presence: When you're with someone, try putting your phone away and really listening. Quality matters more than quantity.
Set healthy boundaries: Good relationships need limits. It's okay to say, "I care about you AND I need some quiet time to recharge."
Recognize connection in small moments: Even brief interactions can foster a sense of belonging when approached mindfully.

What Could Change for You

Imagine waking up feeling not just physically energized but emotionally supported. Picture having people to share both your challenges and victories with. Envision your body responding with better sleep, improved mood, and even better hormone balance.

This isn't just about feeling less lonely – it's about creating the conditions for your body to thrive.